St. Raphael's Finds New Vicar

Don Nicholson was born in Connecticut, "the only American in my family." His father was in the British military, and sent his wife out of harm's way to live in America. Young Don and his mother eventually moved in with Danish friends in Boston. After the war, rather than returning to 'the old sod', Nicholson's parents decided to settle in America, although they never sought American citizenship. Commenting on their lasting loyalty to their homeland, Rev. Nicholson added, "They died here, but they died Brits."

After high school, Nicholson joined the U.S. Marines. At first, he was an artillery surveyor, but then he was sent to Washington, D.C. with the 2nd Marine Division, where he spent the next 14 months standing guard at the White House, protecting President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Asked what he thought of the man, Rev. Nicholson said,"He had an excellent work ethic – every day, even during holidays, he would be in his office at 7 o'clock in the morning. He was a tremendous father figure.”

Although Nicholson had been baptized in the Episcopalian faith, until the birth of his first child, he hadn't maintained a relationship with the church.

"I never went to Sunday School," admits the vicar with a chuckle. He says the Sunday School classroom was dark and unappealing to a young boy. But one day the young Nicholson saw a recruiting poster for the boys' choir tacked up on a bulletin board. "They actually would pay about fifteen cents for each rehearsal and mass in which you sang, and," he adds with a tinge of his boyhood mischief, "you didn't have to go to Sunday School. That sounded great to me, so I joined the boys' choir. I have never been to Sunday School.”

Typically, one is baptized at the age of thirteen or so. "I thought it meant I had graduated, and I just took off from the church. I got back to the church when my oldest daughter was born, and her mother said 'We've got to get her baptized'. So I went and knocked on the door of Charlie Caine, who was the pastor of The Church of the Epiphany in Washington, D.C., right next to the White House. By then, I was attending George Washington University (where Nicholson earned his Bachelors in Education). Anyway, I told him I would like to have my daughter baptized, and he asked me why. And I didn't really have an answer for that. It was my first theological dilemma, and he helped me solve that. As a matter of fact, Pastor Caine was partially responsible for me going to seminary.”

Having started a family, and teaching full-time, the young veteran, husband and new father also worked concurrently for a year at the oldest continually published newspaper in the United States - The Capital. "I started off as proofreader, then got into layout, then I did a series for Saturday mornings – all the while teaching full time. People would send in old photographs of Annapolis, and we did a whole back page series with little vignettes and stories to go with them.” (Hmm... a back page photo series – sounds familiar).

If that doesn't sound like a full plate, consider this: In 1964, Don graduated from the Yale-Berkeley with a Masters in Theology, and was ordained in the Episcopal Church in 1965. "Part of my personal history as a priest is back during the Civil Rights Movement. I was one of the polarizers," in that Rev. Nicholson spoke in favor of changes that many were resisting, sometimes violently. "I'm not proud of polarizing," but being a young idealist, "I felt what I was doing what was right at the time. I'm still resolute in my convictions. I was in Baltimore then, and did some work in that area and in Boston as well, as head of the Urban Department - I was a street priest. It was a thrilling time, a very ecumenical time."

Don worked for the church for five years, "but I realized I needed to make a living to support my family. I was making $5000 a year, and I had to go to work. I had third mate's papers from the service, so I moved my family to St. Thomas and went to work as a mate on a freighter." In 1976, Nicholson got his Ocean Master license and began captaining his own vessels. "We had been living in San Juan for a while, and my children were starting to think that Puerto Rico was the mainland. So we decided to have a sabbatical - my wife (at the time), our five kids, a dog and a cat sailed to New York. I had a job there that summer as a sailing instructor at a yacht club on the Hudson River. At the end of the summer, we sailed to Mason Island off of Mystic Seaport, then we sailed 'down the ditch' (Intercoastal waterway), got to Stuart, Florida and turned right to come across the Sunshine State." And here is where Nicholson's story begins to dovetail with Fort Myers Beach.

"We sailed into Lake Okeechobee, and down the Caloosahatchee River, all the way to Fort Myers." Not happy with the facilities in Fort Myers, they continued down the coast until they got to the Back Bay between San Carlos Island and Estero Island. "We were moored right out here," Don says as he gestures toward the bay. Placing a photo on the table, St. Raphael's new vicar speaks lovingly of the vessel. Built in 1922, the 52-foot gaffe-rigged ketch in the photo is a glowing, pristine white beauty.When Nicholson first acquired the boat, it had been painted all black and named 'Willing Slave'. "When we bought it, we painted it all white and renamed her 'Willing Spirit'. We had her for seven years. The new owner now calls her by her original name, 'Caribe'. She's still in service, in Maine." How does he know this? "I was crossing the Manatee River a few months ago, and there she was on the river. I went out to introduce myself, and he knew exactly who I was."

For twenty years, Don Nicholson sailed tall ships, mainly taking corporate charters out of Baltimore in the summer, and out of San Juan, Puerto Rico in the winter. In 1996, Don decided it was time to retire. And about that same time, he started having some serious discomfort in both hips. He could barely walk.

"The Veteran's Administration (VA) wanted to go in and scrape scar tissue or something, and a friend suggested that I try acupuncture. That sounded less invasive. So, I tried it, and two months later, I put my walking sticks away in my cabin in West Virginia, and they're still there. So when I retired, I went and got a four-year degree in traditional Chinese medicine.” His knowledge of the meridians of the body, which exactly coincide with the neural pathways identified by Western medicine, has served him in his capacity as a chaplain for hospitalized parishioners. The neurologists at the hospital always are glad to see him, because he can use that knowledge to help bring a measure of comfort and relaxation to anxious patients.

"When St. Paul says to pray any way you can, you know, it's any way you can. I do tai chi - it's a prayer in motion. Anything that controls your breath is a prayer. Breath is life-giving. Swimming, singing – anything that includes control of the breath. That kind of breathing – you probably oxygenate about a pint of blood every minute, whereas typical shallow breathing does not. Now, who's going to be thinking better. The healing process has to do with circulation, so if that's constricted, healing won't take place. One day I'm going to have a talk with God about the construction of the knee. It gets a very limited blood supply, poorly constructed."This last comment delivered with a chuckle.

For several years, Rev. Nicholson has served as the Assistant Priest at Christ Church in Bradenton, and as Chaplain at Manatee Community College for the past five years. Of this position, he says, " I love the work. The academic world is a big adventure for me. I love being part of it.”

Additionally, during the past two years, Don has served as the interim pastor in Clearwater, and a shorter term at St. Pete's Beach. He also is on the staff at St. Peter's Cathedral in St. Petersburg, where he celebrates the Eucharist on Tuesdays, which he says is "really more for my benefit than other's. You have to stay plugged in," he explains, "and being in the cathedral kind of reminds you that the church is bigger than the little parish you may be in at the time. It has different dimensions. In fact, I love the cathedral because the ceiling is a mess - it was improperly built, so there are all these wires and

bars criss-crossing above you, holding it together. For me, that's a great analogy of the church."

And now, Rev. Don Nicholson will begin a new chapter of his life at the tender age of 75, ministering to the parishioners at St. Raphael's. "I was 62 when I retired as a captain of the ship, and 65 when I passed my national boards in Chinese medicine.I've had this little fantasy about how I would end my ministry – that I would be appointed vicar of a small parish, imagining some quaint little fishing village in Nova Scotia or something. But it's here."

Nicholson will spend most of his time on the Island, but will maintain the home he shares with his wife Beverly in Bradenton. "My wife teaches second grade at Palmetto Elementary and she loves it. I'd have to break both her arms to get her to leave. Our friends call our place 'Jurassic Park' – there's no lawn, just trees and shrubs. It's in the middle of town but you can't see it from the street – it's like a jungle. Beverly says that now we have a 'summer cottage' (St. Raphael's rectory)."

This will be the first permanent parish assignment Nicholson has taken in a long while, but he is already shaping plans for his Island ministry. "It's really a wonderful feeling being 'back in harness'. I've already given theExecutive Committee some personal goals I have for the parish: To become self-sustaining financially, to be democratically run, and to have all parishioners lift up their baptismal covenant – to search God out in everybody you meet, to pray and work and study and meditate. So it is my task to help people live up to the covenant they made.” And he stresses the importance of the group working together to achieve those goals.

"I spent over twenty years at sea as the captain of a tall ship, and no ship is better than the crew. You function as a team, and that's parallel to how any group or church should function. It's like a repetory theater group – the cast and crew work in concert to keep things going. A ship is like that, and a parish should be like that."

There are many challenges ahead for Rev. Nicholson. His predecessor, Rev. Alice Marcrum, decided to move her ministry out of the church which caused a lot of anguish and soul-searching among its members as each asked themselves - 'Should I stay or should I go?'. For those who have decided to stay the course, they've found a seasoned captain to help them navigate even the roughest seas, literally and figuratively.

To help him chart a healing course, Nicholson has sought the counsel of Rev. Ellen Sloan. "The reason I'm getting together with Ellen is because this parish has been through a lot of stress and disappointment and pain – emotional pain. Ellen has been a good chaplain, so I want to find out her approach to these kinds of things." Rev. Sloan, who has ministered to the worshipers at St. Michael's and All Angels on Sanibel for the past year and half, after serving for many years as Chaplain at the esteemed General Theological Seminary in New York City, says she and her flock have kept everyone at St. Raphael's in their prayers, both those who chose to follow Marcrum, and those who decided to stay.

"Rev. Nicholson is a welcoming presence," Rev. Sloan opined. "And Bishop Smith is such a great man. He's a good shepherd, and if he recommended Don for the parish, he had very good reasons for doing so."

Change is always difficult, and old ideas and traditions are difficult to jettison, but Nicholson believes things happen for a reason. "I remember when they came out with 'The New Prayer Book'. There was such a fuss because people felt that 'God dictated the first one in 1928' or something. So, in 1976, they came out with this new one and some folks thought it was heresy. The joke about that is, more than thirty years later, it is still called 'The New Prayer Book'. It's still the one we use. If it was a car, you could put classic plates on it." He points out that there was a fuss when women were first allowed to be ordained in the Episcopal Church. "Well, they've done some marvelous things."

Asked if he should be referred to as a priest or as a minister, the affable vicar replied, "Rabbi", with a laugh. "But seriously, St Raphael's parish comes out of the High Church tradition, and they call us priests, and address us as Father. I like to go by my name, Don, but I understand that some people are more traditional and that they might want to call me 'Father' - I don't mind that at all.”

A leader who recognizes the importance of everyone as a part of the whole, we asked how Father Don viewed his leadership role with his parishioners.

"Quick story on leadership: When I was a mate on a small freighter, the captain and I were standing way up on the bow of the ship, just chatting. All of a sudden he hesitated and said 'The head's overheating in the engine room.' We were several hundred feet from the engine room – a football field away. So we went down to the engine room, and he was right – the engine was overheating. That kind of sensitivity is, I think, a significant sign of leadership. You really have to know who you are, where you are, and what is happening. You can't do that with your own personality in the forefront. In this parish, I've had people asking 'What do you think?' about this or that and I'll try to turn it back, 'Well, what do you think?'.”

"A friend of mine, who is the Chaplain at Duke University – told me about someone at the chapel who asked him 'Can't we just be friends?', and I loved his answer. He said 'We can be friends, as long as that doesn't interfere with me being your priest.' A priest is someone who speaks to and for his people. My job as a priest is to gather people up." And he seeks to develop meaningful relationships with each of his parishioners. "For me, religion is relational.”

"Regardless of your specific beliefs or tenets that you adhere to, there is a basic thread of humanity running through all of us. We are all connected. Paul Tillich was a great theologian out of Harvard University, and he talked about how God is the ground of our being, and God is in between all," Nicholson relates rather reflectively.

"I recently had lunch with the Dean of Yale Divinity School and it reminded me of my years in the seminary. Then, it was like being involved in a space filled with geniuses and very articulate people. I had the privilege of being in that space for three years, and the Archbishop of Canterbury – the leader of 72 million Anglicans – he talks about space – the church as being a space where people can meet, where we can be together. It's an ethereal space rather than a physical space.”

On a less esoteric level, though, Nicholson says the actual physical structures on the St. Raphael's campus will get some attention too. There are plans to increase the regular use of the parish hall and some high tech equipment owned by the church already. "We might get some sort of casual movie night going or something in the hall. And I understand the shrimp dinners are a big tradition. They get pretty excited and happy when they talk about getting those started again this year." Don also is looking forward to taking part in the Blessing of the Fleet, a time honored tradition involving the Episcopalian Bishop and the St. Raphael's vicar for many, many years.

St. Raphael's - its people, its structure, its history - has always been an integral part of our community, and will continue to be so. As Rev. Nicholson puts it,"This parish is alive and well. God is still here.”